Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones...

As I write this, I am on my lunch break during Day 3 of my professional learning in cognitive coaching.  This experience, as well as the day I recently spent at a seminar with Peter Johnston, author of "Opening Minds: Using Language to Change Lives," has truly stimulated my thinking about our use of language.  In fact, even though my head is spinning with a lot of new ideas, I am confident that I have never before thought this much about language choice, nor on how my choices may impact others.

In a nutshell, cognitive coaching is about individuals supporting each other through conversation.  Ultimately, as instructional coaches, we want teachers to see an increase in their own performance and resourcefulness. In other words, we want to promote their thinking and action for self-growth, with no predetermined outcome.  Peter Johnston's approach is directed at the teacher-student relationship, and awareness of metacognition. Yet, it is similar to cognitive coaching -- how might language either invite or stifle thinking?

So, I think that begs the question of how often do we truly listen to others without focusing on ourselves? Framed another way, how might we pose open-ended, nonjudgmental responses that prod our conversation partner to further their own thinking?  As a teacher, a colleague, a life partner, or a friend, how might we do a better job of being "in the moment," setting our own story, preconceived solutions, or inquisitiveness aside?

It is hard, yet valuable work.  When we stop trying to be the "fixer" or "solution person," not only do we boost other people's growth, but our own as well.  What a relief it is to let go of the fixer mantle -- to let go of the control that is just an illusion anyway.  Once we let go and let others empower themselves, we also empower ourselves to shed fixed roles, and seek new heights.

J. Walton

(P.S. -- for a more humorous look at being a better listener, check out "It's Not About The Nail," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg).

1 comment:

  1. Judge Judy has definitely made the transition to Coach Judy!

    ReplyDelete